Mom
The words seem strange coming out of my mouth after all that we have been through, but I have been blessed by so much. In spite of the great trauma and hurt the last 2 and a half weeks have brought me and our family, I am reminded of what I have had. Not to long ago I was able to stand up here and talk about how beautiful my little brother Caleb was and is. I miss him everyday but everyday I am reminded of how blessed I was by him. And now I am honored to be able to say how blessed I have been to have Lynne C. Ott as a mother.
She will be missed very much by us.
She was our mom but she was also our biggest fan. I remember how proud she made us feel when she would look at Caleb’s pictures, or when she would visit Matt’s worksites or offices, or when she would call me to tell me Luke finished some more paintings. She would call me all the time to talk about my brothers and how talented they are and how beautiful they are. I would be amazed when, Jim, our multimedia guy here at church would tell me that four cds were requested of my last sermon. The next week he would hand me four cds with a smirk on his face and say “Could you give these to your mom for me.” Her I pod was filled with pictures of us, and Taylor, with pictures of our work and with pod casts of my messages. She just could not stop being proud of us and she could not stop expressing her pride to us. There was not a doubt in our minds that we were her world. That her family was what she loved most in life.
She was our mom and she was our protector. I remember the first camera I ever had was a gift from her. It was awesome and I loved it so much I was so proud if it she had entrusted me with her spare camera and she told me to take care of it. I took it down to hang out with the older kids in the neighborhood. I was probably around 6 or 7 years old, and in my youth I left it outside on a ledge down the street. When I realized that I had left it an hour had passed and I hurried back to where I knew it was to find the older kids playing catch with it. I ran home crying and my mom walked hand in hand with me to get it back. I remember her yelling at the older kids as I stood behind her crying. She retrieved my now broken camera and when we got back to the house she held me as I cried. She always protected us, she was our advocate, our fortress, and when we were with her we felt safe. Even as she fought cancer in her presence we were the ones being helped.
She was our mom and she was our comforter. The day after Caleb passed away I crawled into her bed. I was a mess and as I lay next to her and we cried together, my tears turned to sobbing, I felt her hand rubbing my back, and I felt like a child again. As she rubbed my back I felt calm coming over me, there was peace found in her touch, in her hugs, in her soothing voice.
She was our mom and she was our creativity. She instilled in us our love of the arts, our love of music and our love of creating. She was a creator and one of here greatest gifts to us was our gift of creating. Matt creating buildings, Luke creating beautiful paintings, Caleb capturing beautiful images on film and my ability to create programs and creative messages. While others bought VBS curriculum, she created it. Her classrooms became playgrounds, the church became a wonderful world for kids to come and learn about God to come and have fun. The church became a place where kids could be themselves.
She is our mom and she instilled in us a love for God. She loved him when things went great, when things at church got hard and frustrating; she loved Him when she was wounded, when she lost things that were dear to her. She loved him when she was diagnosed with cancer, when she was filled with fear wondering what the future held, she loved him when she mourned the loss of so many dreams she had for us, for our children, for her husband. She even loved him as we mourned the loss Caleb, taken from this earth at the age of nineteen, just over two weeks ago. And so while life has become extremely hard and painful, we will love him as she did.
She is our mom and she has given us so much. She gave us so much more than I could ever capture in words here tonight, but I will end with this.
She gave us our family. My mom and my dad have instilled in us this deep love for each other, which in all honestly makes all of this hurt so much more. But I would not trade the deep love we share for each other for a break in all of this pain.
It is this great love for each other that will make us whole again as we learn to live with the immense loss we now face. It is this love that will bring us and keep us closer as a family than we have ever been.
I can’t wait to see Mom and Caleb again but until then Mom is not only written on our DNA but she is also written on our hearts and minds and souls. She will always be with us, even while she is in heaven with her creator, with her savior and with her youngest, most beautiful son. We will always have her here in our family, in our love of God, in our love of life and in our great love for each other.
